3 Tips to Stop Porn

Now I know you are reading this and are probably at your wits end with your porn habit. You have been saying that you know you need to quit, you may have even tried a few methods to quit, but here you are, reading my 3 tips to stop.

I hate to break it to you, you aren’t going to find a magic solution here. In fact I don’t know if it will work for you at all, I only know what worked for me. Before I had quit I had tried several things and none of them worked. This leads me to realize that the answer isn’t in the method itself but in the heart of the individual.

I must qualify this article by telling you that I struggled with pornography from the age of 15 through my 30s. I have been free from porn since May 16, 2015. When I say “free from porn”, I mean that I have not intentionally viewed pornography with the purpose of masturbation. This does not count the very few instances that I had watched a movie and nudity was shown (as diligent as I try to be in screening for content, sometimes it sneaks in).

The following are 3 things I recommend to begin the process of quitting:

Transparency – 

With the amount of people I have had confess to me their porn addiction, one of the first things I ask them is “have you told anyone else?” I found that making my struggles known to those around me allowed them to keep me accountable. When they knew the sins I struggled with, that gave them the freedom to speak into my life and ask me how I was doing. When you begin to be transparent to those around you, you will find that many more people struggle with the same things as you. I found comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone and was surprised at how common my struggle was in other men my age.

Once I had made my struggles known, and each success I celebrated with them, the harder it became to convince myself to look at porn. In other words, I felt that if I gave into temptation I would not only let them down but also give them license to do it.

You must remember that sin and darkness go hand in hand. Sin will thrive where there is no light. When you expose your sin to others, you are bringing it into the light and taking that first step to do the right thing. It’s not always easy to confess your sins to others, and there is a reason it is so difficult, because it’s commanded of us. (James 5:16)

Avoidance – 

The Bible tells to avoid all appearance of evil. (1 Thess 5:22) Though some things may not be overt pornography, there are plenty of things that are essentially pornography without the label. For instance, many television shows on certain networks have profuse nudity in them. Though they may have a great story line, they are littered with visual pornographic stimulation.

One thing sticks with me from a book I read many years ago. In it the author compared our tolerance to sexual stimulation to a dixie cup filled with water. Each time we looked at something sexual we filled our cups with a little bit of water. If we weren’t careful to empty the water, through prayer and repentance, it would get to the point of overflowing. You may not realize it, or even be bothered by a flash of nudity in a show, but your mind is storing that image and dopamine is being released until you have to do something about it. That something is usually looking at pornography.

If that isn’t clear enough, the Bible goes further to tell us to completely run away from sexual immorality. That means anything that is not sexually appropriate. In other words, if you are married your wife or husband are to be your sexual satisfaction. If you are single, you are to abstain completely. (1 Cor 6:18) We say we want help with our addictions, but we don’t take the steps that are laid out in the Bible.

Learn to Hate Sin – 

One of the major issues I had with pornography wasn’t the porn itself, it was my lack of reverence toward God. I took advantage of His grace on more occasions than I can count. I knew in the back of my mind that He would forgive me every time, so it was easy to justify looking at it. The issue was that my heart was still dark and my respect and fear of God was not realistic.

I viewed God as my friend more than as my Father. Think about that for a second, there is a huge difference between who we are friends with and our own father. Our friends will be there, support us and walk with us through life, but they aren’t our Dad. I don’t know about many of your own fathers, but my Dad was a man I didn’t want to disappoint. I knew he loved me, but when I had to go to him with bad news, or something I had done, I was afraid. I have found that many people don’t have that same level of respect/fear for God that they do for their father and that is a problem.

God wouldn’t demand obedience from us if He would just do everything for us. In other words, if it was meant to be that God would take away all our struggles and temptations, the scripture would never mention being obedient at all. Obedience is better than sacrifice (1 Sam 15:22). My problem is that I had prayed and prayed that God would take away my temptations, and He never did. It wasn’t until I realized that God had already given me everything I needed, and that He demanded obedience that I was able to be successful. Even Paul prayed that God would remove the thorn in his side, and God did not.

I remember the moment that the light bulb turned on in my head, my pastor had said that in his 12 years or marriage, he hadn’t looked at any pornography. I suddenly realized that as a man, I didn’t have to do that anymore. I could simply stop. And I did.

I pray that you too can stop, and that these tips can be helpful in your first step to living free from the damning control of pornography.

For further articles relating to porn, check these out:
http://thedirtychristian.com/2016/01/18/stop-porn-before-its-too-late/
http://thedirtychristian.com/2014/12/31/i-dont-want-my-sons-cursed-by-porn/
http://thedirtychristian.com/2014/12/05/mainstream-porn-and-the-dangers-of-innocence/